Cliche Not Again!
by Arda's Angel
Summary: Just like the title says...read to find out more...stupid plot bunnies....There WILL be severe MS as it is a CLICHE! you have been warned. RR don't like, don't read Flames will be used to roast marsmallows at camp :
1. What the Bloody?

**_Cliché! _**

(a/n) Oh no! Another cliché! NO! I can't believe that I'm doing this, but when the plot bunnies call, well….

            I can't believe this is happening to me! Why me? What have I ever done? One minute I'm laying on my bed and laughing with a bunch of my friends, the next I'm getting squashed by a 6' tall….._thing!_ I did what any one in my position would do…SCREAM BLOODY MURDER! My friends just laughed, that is until the thing on top of me pulled a dagger to my throat. "Where is it?" I heard a low voice growl. 

            I pushed whatever it was off of me and was disappointed to find the dagger still digging into my skin. My friends were staring at me in shock. "Hey guys? A little help here? What the bloody hell is going on?" 

            My friend, whom we (my other friends) lovingly call Arwen, tapped the thing on the shoulder. "Umm, excuse me. What exactly are you looking for?"

            Of course she also happens to be the calm, nonviolent one…..Just my luck. 

            The thing growled again and said, "The ring. It was destroyed. How came you by it? What are you doing with it? It must be destroyed." 

            Ok. I'm not one to over react but there is a thing in my room holding a sharp pointy thing to my neck and wanting to destroy a copy of the One Ring that I got as a birthday gift from my little brother. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!"

            "Maris!" My friend Azia yelled. "Chill girl!" 

            My other friends however, Rosie and Captain, only gasped and…shrieked like crazed fan-girls. "OMG! It's Legolas!" Captain looked around, only to find someone else staring at her, sword drawn. "And ARAGORN!"

            Aragorn looked totally confused, and Legolas appeared to be suffering severe hearing damage due to the high pitched screaming. "Who are you and how do you know our names?" Legolas demanded. 

            "Correction," I snapped back. "You answer to us first. How and why did you both just fall out of my walls and RIP MY POSTERS!" I consider myself to be a slightly sane person, with the exception of **anyone** touching my LOTR stuff. "HOW COULD YOU!"

            Blondie backed off, glancing at my friends, all of whom were laughing hysterically. "Very well. I am Legolas Thranduilion, and this is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. We are not sure how we came here and I would like to know how it is that you have the Ring, the others know our names, and what you're referring to as posters." 

            "ARGH!" I huffed. "Fine. I am Lauren, but everyone calls me Maris. These are my friends Arwen," Aragorn looked around excitedly, then saw who I was pointing to and sighed. "No Aragorn, not your Arwen. This is Azia," she waved and Legolas looked confused, "Rosie," who almost fainted as Legolas glanced over at her, " And Captain" who nearly did the same as Rosie but under Aragorn's glance. "Will you two just get over it?"

            They blushed and Rosie muttered something about being in the same room with a dead sexy elf and that it wasn't her fault that he was dead sexy. Legolas' eyes widened in horror and Aragorn laughed. I just rolled my eyes. "OK fine. WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!" 

            The unlucky pair finally looked around them. Leggy was sitting on my bed, as far away as he could from me, without falling off. Aragorn was standing near the door, by the poster that he had destroyed on the way in. "I'm not quite sure. Where are we?"

            I rolled my eyes at him again. How stupid could people get? "As I already said, you are in MY room, in nowheresville MD, US of A."

            They looked at me as if I had sprouted a second pair of nostrils or antlers or something. "What?" Leggy looked hopelessly confused, which would have been a very cute look for him had he not have been in my room and just fallen out of my wall. (Damm hormones!) 

            "Oh right. I forgot. You are from M.E." I looked at Arwen, who shrugged and slapped her forehead. I know I'm stupid, you don't have to remind me. 

            Estel (AKA Arago-get-get-a-life) looked even more confused. "M.E.? You mean Middle Earth?" 

            "No, I meant Mexican Europe! Of course I meant Middle Earth." I groaned. 

            "Lauren , haven't you been listening at all in history class? Mexican Europe? Are you crazy? Ms. John would be ashamed." Captain gasped. 

            "Fine. Maine. Better? Ok you two," I sighed as I turned back to the two. I guess we'll figure this out later. Let's go get a snack."

            We filed out my door, leaving two very confused Middle Earthlings floundering in our wake. 


	2. The Refrigerator

(a/n) SAVE ME! One of my friends is going to kill me because my plot bunnies have fun excluding her because she isn't as obsessed. This story isn't AT ALL up to my standards but the plot bunnies are being mean!

**_Ch._****_ 2 The Refrigerator_**

            I led the way to my kitchen, racking my brain to something to do with the two Middle Earthlings that had just destroyed my posters! "Alright. What do you people want to eat?" I asked, walking towards the refrigerator. 

            Rosie was staring at poor Leggy like he was a cookie or something. "Um…how about some chocolate or something?" She suggested. 

            "OK. But only for you guys, I'm trying to loose weight." I nodded. 

            Arwen asked if she could have an apple and some milk, so I opened the fridge, and was suddenly stopped as Leggy grabbed my hand. "Don't! It's giving off cool air. It may be enchanted by some evil spirit." Is he crazy? Evil spirit? I rolled my eyes and sighed. 

            "Look Leggy. It's not an evil spirit. It's a refrigerator. It keeps food cold and fresh. That's it!" I am really getting fed up with these people!

            Just as I was reaching for the apple, the phone rang. I ran to pick it up. "Hey Leggy? Could you please grab an apple out of the bottom drawer? Thanks. Hello?" I answered the phone. 

            "Hey buddy." My friend Jordan greeted. "S'up?"

            "Hey Jordan? Remember that poster of Aragorn that kept staring at you and scaring you? Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that its gone. The bad news is its living model is standing in my kitchen and thinks that the fridge is evil. O yeah….hottie is here too. He….well….can you come over? This is too confusing to tell you over the phone." I explained, while trying not to laugh as Leggy and Estel tried to get the apple out of the fridge while trying to stay safe from its "evil".

            I turned back to the duo, who were, once again, staring at me as if I had grown a second head. "What?"

            "You were just talking to that…" Estel pointed out. 

            "yeah….so?"

            "And you invited it over?" He asked. 

            "NO! It's a form of communication. My friend was also talking into it. I can hear her and she can hear me. She's gonna come over in a couple of minutes to meet you guys and help me figure out what to do."

            Leggo-waffles nodded his head and pretended that he understood. Man….I'm a better faker than that guy! And he's supposed to be Elven! My god…..

            The doorbell rang. Leggy and Aragorn jumped and pulled out their weapons. 

            "Put them away! It's just Jordan!" I yelled as I went to open the door. "Hey Jordan. Take a deep breath and calm down before you go in there. It's a little creepy." I warned, before leading her into the kitchen. 


	3. Stuck

**_Cliché Ch 3_**

            Jordan took a deep breath and looked at me. "What kind of prank are you pulling?"

            "I'm not! That's what's so scary." I pulled her into the kitchen. 

            "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She yelped. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!"

            I gave the "told'ya so" look and said, "Jordan, meet Legolas and Aragorn. They fell through my wall about 15 minutes ago." 

            "Fell through your wall???" 

            "Yeah, so anyways, what do you want to eat?"

            "Hmmm. Cookie dough?" Jordan asked, staring at Legolas. 

            "That works. What about you two?" I asked, looking at the two, very confused visitors. 

            Legolas asked "Do you have lembas?" 

            I shook my head. "Hello? We aren't in freaky Elf land. We eat regular food! If you want freaky Elf food, go back home."

            Rosie and Jordan glared at me for insulting their "precious" pretty elf-boy. "Maris! That's not very nice! He is your guest. Be nice! And please try not to scare them off….."

            The duo looked at each other, then at me. "Scare us off? Do you usually scare people away?"

            "umm, I plead the 5th." I muttered, glaring at Jordan and Rosie. Captain and Arwen were trying very hard not to laugh  "What?"

            Captain laughed. "Look Lauren. They're scared of you. I don't think they know what pleading the 5th is." She cracked up. "It's hilarious! And Aragorn is so sexy!" 

            We cracked up, watching Aragorn's face turn bright red. "Umm, I guess that we'd better be going…." He began to edge back towards my room, pulling Legolas with him. 

            I followed, curious to see what they were planning. "Hey you guys, just keep eating. I'll be back soon, hopefully minus the two idiots." I grinned and followed the pair up to my room. 

            Aragorn glanced at the ripped poster that he had emerged through about half an hour earlier. " I guess that a jolt would bring us back. What do you think?"

            He turned to Lego-lassie, who had fallen onto my bed. Lego-my-eggo held his head and winced. "I don't think that a jolt will do it…"

            I cracked up, then shrieked. "You can't get back? You're stuck here? NO! This can't be happening! NO!"

            Legolas winced at my high-pitched racket, then said, "What are we going to do?"

            I was furious. "What do you mean, what are we going to do? YOU are finding a way out of here and back to Middle Earth. I am going to pray that when you do, my wall and posters will be fixed. Got it?"

            Aragorn was opening his mouth when Captain and Fritz (also known as Jordan) came flying in through my door. "NO! They can't leave!" Captain screamed. She latched on to Aragorn and clung to him for dear life. "He's so sexy!"

            Fritz followed suite with Legolas. I glared at them. "So what do you suggest?"

            Captain grinned. "Oh NO! You are NOT going to rape ANYONE in my house!"

            The smile faded slightly. "Aww man…." 

            I glared and turned on Legolas. "WHAT?" 

            "Has anyone told you that you're actually quite pretty when you scream?"

            ***************************************************************

(a/n) I am going to attempt to hit just about every cliché that I can think of….including the dreaded MS! I am writing another MS story but it's not as clichéd…If you can think of any good clichés to include….please rr and include your ideas. J Eventually a girls fall into ME fic just for the cliché!


	4. Oh God No

**_Cliché Ch 4_**

            "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, causing Lego-lass to cringe in pain. 

            "You have again proved my point, milady" he answered calmly. 

            "ARGH!" I screamed. "FRITZ! SAVE ME!" 

            She grinned impishly and chucked maniacally. "I think I can manage that."

            Legolas edged away, while trying to free himself from her grip on his arm. "I apologize for startling you but I cannot help speaking my mind." 

            "Yeah well, don't!" I snapped_. My god he has gorgeous eyes……NO! NO he doesn't! He's just a random elf who dropped into my room, and RUINED MY POSTERS! With the most incredible good looks that I have ever seen…._ "Apology accepted. SO what are we going to do? You can't get back and….FRITZ! STOP TRYING TO RAPE HIM!"

            Legolas looked at me with those god-given eyes thankfully. "Miss Fritz, do you mind?" 

            "Umm…..no." She stared at him, happily. "He knows my name!" she squeaked. 

            Legolas looked insulted. "You consider my intelligence so little that I cannot remember a name? I know all of your names…..Our lovely host is Maris, the one on Aragorn is Captain, the one on me is Fritz, and the 3 downstairs are Rosie, Arwen, and Azia. Happy?" 

            My face turned bright red. "OK, we really need to find a way to get you both back to M.E…..now!" 

            Captain looked disappointed and tightened her grip on Arago-away! Fritz wrapped her arms about Leggy and refused to let go. Azia called from downstairs, "MARIS! What is going on up there?"

            She and Arwen and Rosie raced up the stairs to find complete chaos! My face was so red I could have fried an egg on it. "Azia, Lego-lassie come home has decided that I am pretty when I scream and Captain and Fritz want to rape them. What am I supposed to do?" 

            "Um….I don't know!" She tried to hide a giggle but it didn't work. 

            "YOU AREN"T HELPING!" I shuddered to think of what my parents would say. _'Lauren, what are two very strange men doing in our house? What happened? Why is our house suddenly a war-zone? We are NEVER letting you stay home alone again young lady!'  Yeah, that'd be fun. I can see it now….._

            "Milady?" Lego-so-hott interrupted. 

            I tried to find something to say. "Yes……"

            "Would you mind getting Fritz off of me?"

            I looked at Fritz, who shook her head vigorously and tightened her grip. "But I think she likes it where she is…"

            He glared at me and smiled impishly, "Would you mind taking her place?"

            "@^&#%^$&$)" I blushed furiously and threw myself onto my bed, burying my head in a pillow. "Someone please kill me now….." I muttered, totally and utterly embarrassed beyond my wits. "Look Leggy, I'm sure that you are a great elf but I am just a little disturbed at the moment," his totally hott and sexy face allowed a slight look of disappointment. _Why do you have to be so hott! WHY! Why me?_ _Why do I have to be the only one of my friends who feels compelled to maintain self control and dignity? WHY?_

            Leggy looked concerned and put his hand on my back. "Are you alright?"

            I cringed and he removed his hand. "Don't touch me!" I snapped. 

            He looked hurt. "I am sorry. As soon as it is possible to return home, I will and never trouble you again."

            _ DAMMIT! Why does he have to try the guilt trip thing?! And he looks so HOTT doing that! NO! ITS NOT FAIR! NO! Make it stop, mommy, make it stop! OK…..I give! WAAAAAAAAAA! NO STUPID BLOODY ELF WITH HOTT EYES!_

"No, that's ok. You don't have to leave just yet….." 

            His eyes lit up. "Really? I can stay? Thank you milady." He went back into 'formal' mode. 

            "NO! He's mine!" Fritz screamed. "MINE I tell you! MINE!" She began to laugh maniacally, in a way I can only describe as a chipmunk on crack. "MINE! Can't touch him! He's mine! My preciousssssss!"

            _Wow! OK…no more sugar for Fritz. And I will definitely have to do something about Leggy's guilt trip…..DAMMIT! _ 

            "Yeah, ok. So what do you all want to do?" _Why did I just say that? Captain and Fritz are giving poor Aragorn and Lego-building blocks stares that put me in mind of a starving rabid raccoon…..*shudder* _"Ok, don't answer that. Why don't we all go downstairs and play a nice quiet board game….like Monopoly or Risk or-"

            Fritz cut me off. "SPIN THE BOTTLE!" 

            I glared at her but was immediately over-ruled by everyone but Arwen, who made a face. "But…." She tried to make an excuse but to no avail. 

            I squirmed as I felt Leggy's eyes on me. "Save me…"


	5. Spin the Bottle Begins

(a/n) The plot bunnies have been cruel….not that I have a problem with the spin the bottle coming up……

Disclaimer: LOTR is not mine. 'sigh''tear' But Legolas IS! 'maniac laughter' Legolas: No….I belong to…… Maris: Quiet! 'brandishes keyboard' and anything in italics is MY thoughts….

**_Cliché Ch 5- Spin the Bottle_**

            _Oh god…make__ it stop! How am I going to explain this one to my parents? And Lego-blocks is staring at me again! No! _

"Ok" Azia began. "Where do we find a bottle?"

            I glared at her and rolled my eyes. "Somebody just kill me now…" I muttered. 

            Lego-french dipping stix looked at me, confused. _Again a very cute look for him... grrrr NO! He's NOT the hottest thing that I have ever seen! NO! _"Milady, are you alright? Surely you did not seriously want someone to kill you?"

            "No, I'm perfectly serious." I muttered sarcastically. 

            _Again with the completely hott and lost look! _"So, do we have a bottle?" Captain asked, while tightening her grip on Estel's arm. 

            I rolled my eyes, then went down to my kitchen to get a water bottle. When I came back up, I was met with the most disturbing sight that I have **ever** seen. Fritz was trying to hold Rosie away from Leggy, while trying to kiss him herself. Captain was attempting the same with Aragorn (Estel) and Azia was laughing. Arwen had taken a book off of my bookshelf and was trying desperately to ignore the dreadful scene in front of her. Leggy's eyes instantly shot up to meet mine as I walked back in. "Alright, alright, I got a bottle. But if this gets too weird, the bottle will be burnt by me personally! Kapishe?"

            The would-be rapists looked at me and glared, while Arwen gave me an extremely grateful look. 

            "Fine." I sighed. "Let's get this over with."

            I groaned and plopped myself onto the floor of my room. Rosie sat down next to me and pulled Legolas down beside her. Fritz glared and positioned herself on Legolas' other side. Arwen sat on my other side, with Azia next to her. Captain pulled Estel down next to her, completing the circle. _Why me? Why does it have to be me? Why is it, that whenever a dream I have comes true, it's never how I envisioned it? WHY?_

            Arwen suddenly got up, "I am not going to play." 

            Captain began to argue, while keeping a strong hold on Estel. "But Arwen, why not? You can't be serious. The hottest man EVER is right here and you might get to kiss him and you **don't want to?** You're crazy."

            Arwen simply shrugged and settled onto my bed with a book. 

            "So," Rosie asked, "Who's going to start?" She looked at me, pointedly. 

            "Oh no! This was **your** idea, the three of you, one of you start!"

            Azia rolled her eyes and grabbed the bottle. "FINE! I'll start. Happy?" She spun the bottle and it stopped spinning on Aragorn. Her eyebrow shot up and she grinned impishly. Aragorn however, appeared totally unfazed. "Well?" She asked.

            Estel shrugged and leaned over, kissing her lightly. "Happy?" He mimicked, then glanced at Legolas, who seemed totally calm and emotionless. 

            Lego-the–bottle-before-I-hit-you grabbed the bottle and glanced at me. _Please no! NO! Not me…why can't it be Fritz or Rosie? Just not me…Please…if there is some higher being, not me!_ He spun the bottle and all of my faith in a deity of any kind vanished in a heartbeat. It stopped on me…. 


	6. The Kiss

(a/n)- Thanks to my cuz Jen. I am at her house right now and she doesn't mind me writing and uploading from here. THANK YOU! Azn-kirby- YAY! I'm glad that you liked ch 13. The plot bunnies aren't helping me with that story yet, oh well. ~Maris

**_Cliché ch 6- The Kiss _**

            _Oh god…why me? I can't believe this! Of all people, it had to land on me! What's he doing! Legolas had better stay far away from me! _

            He leaned over Rosie, who whimpered and moved back to let him get closer to me. I pulled her in front of me, like a human shield. "Save me…." 

            She simply smiled and moved to sit next to Azia. "Come on Maris, you know that you don't mind, admit it."

            "That's not the point." I covered my mouth. "Nobody heard that…"

            "Heard what?" Fritz laughed."

            "Exactly." But Leggy had! He inched closer, but didn't kiss me. He put his arm around me and I involuntarily leaned against his shoulder. 

            "I won't if you don't want me to." He whispered.

            I felt shivers run up and down my spine as he whispered in my ear. 

            I nodded, trying to keep my self control and senses. I took a deep breath and glanced at the rest of the circle. Aragorn was smiling, apparently pleased to see pay-back for Legolas' teasing about Arwen, and trying to keep Captain from killing Azia. Rosie and Fritz were giving me death glares and laughing at the same time. Arwen was looking at us, instead of at her book, which was a surprise to me. 

            Leggy looked at me. "So, have you decided yet?" 

            Fritz cackled. "Decided? She's so indecisive it'll take a whole day to get an answer, if she gives one."

            I shot a glare her way, but she's right. DAMMIT! If I say yes, I'll never hear the end of it, but if I refuse, I'll never get over it, and I'll have to deal with Legolas' cute, hott, disappointed look. ARGH! Why me! I nodded slowly, "After all, it's part of the game, right?"

            Legolas smiled and brushed his lips against mine. _Oh bloody hell! His lips are so soft! Wow!_ I shivered and the kiss ended. 

            The circle was silent, then Azia clapped. "GO girl!"

            Fritz' face was a mix of shock, anger, and mirth. "Fine. Which half do you want?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. 

            I laughed. "I think we should keep him together, more fun for us, better for him."

            Leggy's eyes opened wide. "Half? What are you talking about?"

            "Don't worry about it." I smiled. "So Fritz, I guess it's your turn."

            She grinned impishly, "Can I just kiss hottie and not spin the bottle?"

            Azia rolled her eyes. "This is getting old really fast."

            I shrugged. "Don't look at me. This was your idea to begin with. I was fine to play Monopoly, or Risk, or Battleship, or **anything else for that matter!** Whatever you want to do is fine with me, besides rape." I groaned. "Why don't we all go camp out in front of the TV so that I can update my fics?"

            Aragorn and Legolas looked confused. "TV? Fics? Monopoly? Battleship? Risk? What is this new devilry?"

            I stifled a giggle. "Never mind. You'll see." I winked at Legolas and turned to the rest of the circle. "So, what do you guys want to watch?"

            Rosie perked up and screamed, "PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN!"

            Legolas winced. "Miss Rosie, would you mind not screaming? It's quite painful."

            She blushed. "Sure."

            I groaned. "Arwen, is POTC ok with you?"

            She nodded. "Sure, just Rosie, don't yell anymore."

            Rosie sighed. "Fine. I get it. Lets go." She hopped up, tripped and fell into Legolas' lap. "Oops. Sorry."

            He helped her up and got up. Aragorn and Captain got up and Azia pulled on Captain's leg until Captain pulled her up. I rolled my eyes and leaned back until I was lying on the floor. 

            "Hey guys? I think that I'm gonna take a nap, go on without me. Besides, I'm gonna update my fics. Arwen, you know how to use the DVD player and there's popcorn in the pantry. If you want to help me update the fics, you're welcome to. The DVD is in the drawer by the player and the TV. Knock yourselves out." I sighed and threw a pillow at them. "Go on!"


	7. Alone with Legolas

(a/n) Thanks again to Jen. Warning: This chappie and the next is guaranteed to rot your teeth. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH CUTE MUSHIE GUSHIE STUFF!

**_Cliché ch 7- Alone with Legolas_**

            They laughed and dashed out to the TV. Legolas was still in my room. He was sitting on my bed, looking down at me. 

            "What?"

            "Aren't you going to go with your friends?"

            "They can handle themselves. And you should go watch some of the movie with them, it's good." 

            He shook his head. "Only if you go. And it's not polite to do something else while you have guests over."

            "First of all, they are not my guests, they are my friends. And they've been here so many times and spend so much time here that they practically live here. So that excuse doesn't work.  Second of all, I didn't invite either you or Aragorn, not that I'm unhappy that you're here, but you don't count as guests either as you weren't invited. Therefore, I have no guests to entertain."

            "Touché... Not only are you witty, but very quick on your feet."

            _Oh no... not again! How can he do this? No other person on this earth could possibly make me act this way! ARGH! Not again with those god-given eyes! Grrrr! Why! _

            "Are you alright? You seem a bit distracted."

            "Well wouldn't you be if two random people fell out of two of the most important posters on your walls and couldn't get home?"

            "Alright, you win again. But if you really want us to go home, we will be more than happy to comply as soon as there is a way." He sighed and fell back onto my bed, throwing his arms up above his head. __

_            Why is he doing this? Why did he have to materialize? Why couldn't he simply stay as a fantasy that lives in my head? And he's doing the bloody cute disappointed look again. DAMMIT! I want him…NO! No I don't! Bad Maris! God why does he do this to me?!_

"Legolas, I'm gonna need my bed back so that I can take a nap, ok?"

            "Nothing's stopping you. Why refuse a nap simply because I'm here? Go right ahead. There's plenty of room." He rolled over to one side of my bed, presumably giving me room. __

_            GOD! Why is this happening! The hottest guy I have **ever** seen and the elf from my dreams wants to share a bed with me! ARGH! BLOODY HELL!...Wait a second, why am I thinking this? Isn't this what I want? Why am I so negative? I'm negative because I was perfectly happy to keep this as a **dream!** In my head. Where no one else could see it! But nooooo! Life just can't be nice and simple! Instead I have to deal with two literary characters from Tolkien's mind and 3 of my would-be rapist friends! ARGH! Not to mention that they aren't here right now to rape him and save me! UGH! BLOODY HELL!_

"What????I don't think I heard you correctly. I want to take a nap! By myself, in my bed. But, I guess I can't because somebody is in my bed and it's not me! GRRRR!"

            "Remember what I said earlier about you being extremely pretty when you yell? You're proving me right again." 

            "Fine! As I'm obviously not able to take a nap, I guess I'm going to go update my fics! And no, you **cannot follow me!**"

            I stormed out of my room and headed to the computer. I slammed the door, which was probably a mistake because the stupid elf now knew exactly where I had gone, pulled up Microsoft Word to continue my fics. No sooner had I started to type then Legolas showed up, again. I sighed, and continued to write, completely ignoring his presence. 

            "Milady?"

            "Yes?"

            "Why do you dislike me so much?" He asked, sadly.

            I sighed. "I don't dislike you, that's the problem."

            "Ah. So my being here upsets you because you don't dislike me?"

            "Pretty much. Never mind. Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter. It's not important. Besides, the movie should be getting to a good part soon and I think you should go watch it."

            "But, I don't understand. Why, if you don't hate me, do you want me to leave?" He asked, innocently. 

            "It's a long story. Let's just put it this way, childish fantasies are meant to stay as fantasies, and not enter reality, even if we really wish that they would. Am I clear?"

            "Inescapably." 

            I nodded. "Good. Now go watch the movie, it's good. Besides, I think that you need to go save everyone from the demonic moving pictures. Not literally. Just kidding. Sorry. So…"

            "Why do you keep trying to get rid of me?" He pressed.

            "I'm not trying to get rid of you. Now be a good elf and go watch the movie. Besides, the character Will Turner looks like you." I groaned.

            "Why do you get uncomfortable when people like you or want to be close to you?"

            "I'm not!" I gave an exasperated sigh. "Please go away, you're scaring my plot bunnies." 

            "What're plot bunnies?"

            "Well," I twisted in my seat to look at him and explain. "They are my inspiration. They give me ideas for my stories."

            "Do they get scared and run away if people get close to them too?"

            "Point taken. Alright, you can stay, I guess." I shook my head to get a bit of flying hair away from my face. 

            I looked back down at the keyboard and the stupid piece of hair fluttered back into my face. I shook my head to move it but it didn't seem to want to move. Within a few seconds, I felt a soft hand brushing my face, pushing the hair back into place. "Thanks," I whispered.

            He smiled, and he seemed only inches away from me. "You know, you're not only pretty when you're angry."  

            I smiled, "Thanks. And you're not so bad either. If I had to have someone fall through my wall, I'm glad it was you." 

            "See, you can open up, its not so bad." 

            "Yeah well, no one will ever know about this, ok? I try very hard to ensure that everyone sees me as happy and reserved."

            "Well, as long as no one is going to know anyway…" He leaned in, closing the distance between our lips in a mind-blowing kiss. 


	8. Practice

(a/n) These chapters co-written with Jen, and tongue in cheek. This is the side of me that will NEVER been seen again. [by the way Jen also helped me write the previous chapter.] This is the result of the romantic side of my plot bunnies. Will most likely rot your teeth, If you have any left from the last chapter. Enjoy.  BTW… Fritz and Rosie, HAHAHA! Don't kill me! ~Maris

**_Cliché ch 8- Practice_**

            _OMG! What is he doing? This isn't supposed to happen. It's a dream come true but not the way I thought it would. Now what? ARGH! HEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPPPPP! OK, just think, what am I going to do? Relax, well… I can ignore it or I can go with it, or I can slap him. The question is… which option am I going to use? WAAAAA! Why am I so indecisive? Ok, I am **not** going to slap him. So really, am I going to ignore it or go with it? BLOODY DECISIONS! Grrr!  Maybe I'll just wait and see what happens, I should probably stop thinking so much…After all, I should probably enjoy the moment, right?_

            Legolas broke the kiss after a few minutes. "Now, was that really so terrible?"

            I blushed. "Why don't you tell me?"

            "Well…..remembering that you are only human…no." He grinned.  "You know, you could still use some practice."

            I slapped him playfully. "LEGOLAS!" 

            He laughed. "Hey! That's not very nice."

            "Well," I said, "If I really need all that much practice…" I tilted my head in a slightly childish way, "Teach me!"

            "As I am quite sure that you can do better, it would be my pleasure." He answered, mischievously. 

            "I'm sure…"

            _Wow! I can't believe that this is happening! _

            He grinned again, before catching me in yet another shocking kiss. (a/n-as I am not a mushy person and don't want you to wind up yanking your teeth out, I'll spare you the details J) 

            Suddenly I felt eyes following me and broke away to see Azia, mouth open, staring at us. She laughed and began cheering and screaming, "OMG! Maris just got her first kiss! Awwww! How cute!"

            My face turned bright red and I buried my head in my hands. "Oh no…Bloody hell! Just kill me now…"

            Legolas looked at me, "Your first kiss? I would like to correct my original statement. Although it wasn't Elven standards, that wasn't typical first kiss either."

            "Well, I'll leave you two to 'practice' and the part with the demon monkey is on. By the way, you really do look like Will Turner." Azia laughed again and wandered out of the room, shutting the door behind her. 

            I blushed again, and turned back to my abandoned fic, which suddenly seemed less interesting than before. I struggled with ideas and my plot bunnies for a few minutes before sighing and saving the little progress that I had made. 

            Legolas tried to read over my shoulder, but eventually asked what I was writing. I then launched into a condensed explanation about fanfics and the one I was working on at the moment. Halfway through my explanation, I found myself staring into his eyes, then in yet another one of his kisses. 

            Legolas smiled, "You can finish explaining later."

            _Why must I talk so much! I'm usually the shy one around people. Why am I not shy around him? Why can't I be shy? _

            He brushed his hand against my cheek, then pulled it back as if he had been scalded. "You are so red. Are you alright?"

            _Great, he's never seen someone blush before._

            "What? I've been blushing since you got here."

            He smiled. "I don't know about here, but in Middle Earth, when one blushes, one is usually embarrassed. Why are you embarrassed around me?"

            "I…just am. I don't know, I blush at everything anyway." As if to prove my point, my face got even redder.

            He laid a cool palm against my burning cheek. "Don't worry about it so mush, it brings color to your face."

            I blushed again. _DAMMIT! Now I can't even talk to him without blushing! What is wrong with me? This is why fantasies stay in my head. Because in my head, this doesn't happen! ARGH! WHY! _

Legolas looked at me, slightly concerned. "Maris, you look very preoccupied. Perhaps a nap would do you some good."

            I yawned and nodded. "You're probably right." I closed the program and got up, heading towards the door. Legolas followed me down to my room, watching as I curled up on my bed. 

            Slowly and cautiously, as if to avoid getting burned, he sat on the edge of my bed. As I didn't react, he moved closer, putting a hand on my back. I felt him move, and like when someone pets me, I began to purr. _I can't help it, when I'm happy, I purr. _He rubbed my back, laughing softly. I curled into his touch and he curled around me, tucking my head beneath his chin and wrapping an arm around my waist. _Nap time!_

            As I drifted off to sleep, a thought popped into my head, _What about the others? What're they up to?_ And another voice silenced the first. _Who cares? This is where I want to be. Why complain about a good thing?_

            I opened my eyes and heard my door slam shut. I tried to get up, then remembered Legolas. I grabbed a pillow and hurled it in the direction of my door. A soft thump told me that I had scored a hit. A voice that sounded like Captain's floated down the hall. "Oh Aragorn, sexy. Where are you?"

            The thing in my room moved towards the bed, then stopped, shocked. "Holy Valar Legolas! What're you doing?"

            Legolas moaned and his eyes brightened. He blinked a few times, then looked at me. He smiled, "Hello Maris. Sleep well?" 

            I nodded, turning to lie on my back. "Very." 

            Aragorn cleared his throat. "I don't mean to interrupt this touching moment, but, HELP!"

            I sat up and Legolas swatted at me. I swatted back at him before turning to Aragorn. "What do you mean, help?"

            We heard running, and someone calling for Aragorn. He looked at me, almost begging. "Please?"

            I sighed. "Closet."

            He stared at me, so I pointed to the closet. "Get in there. She won't find you."

            He nodded thankfully and slipped into the closet, shutting the door behind him.

            I sighed and flopped back onto my back. "This is insane."

            Legolas murmured in agreement as he played with my hair, unwinding the braid that I had so carefully plaited this morning.

            I laughed and batted his hands. 

            As he continued to mess with my hair, flipping it over my face, the door swung open. "Maris! Have you seen Aragorn? He's gone!" 

            I stretched and sat up. "Who? Aragorn? Nope, haven't seen him. How's the movie going?"

            She grinned. "Johnny Depp is SO sexy! And it's almost over. I just came up to find the oh-so-sexy ranger."

            I made gagging noises and  Legolas wrapped his arm around me protectively as Captain glared at me. "Well, I didn't say anything about you and Elf-boy being alone for almost two hours! And I haven't said anything about Frankie yet today, so count your blessings."

            I groaned. "I suppose you're right. Where're Rosie, Arwen, Azia, and Fritz?"

            She shrugged. "Watching the video I guess. Oh well, if I can't see the real Aragorn, then I guess the ripped poster will do."

            _Joy, again with the ripped posters! ARGH!_ I rolled my eyes. 

            Legolas smiled mischievously. "May I look around your room, Lady Maris?"

            I gently smacked him upside the head. "Fine, but I'm just Maris, not 'Lady Maris', your highness." I mocked. 

            "AWWW! Maris, how cute! You and Legolas are so cute together," Captain gushed. 

            Legolas tightened his grip around me for a second, then sat up and got off the bed. He stretched and looked around. 

"Maris? You may want to go see the others as you haven't for roughly two hours." Captain suggested again.

            I nodded and held out my hand to her. She pulled and I got up. I shook my head a bit and headed to the door. Captain laughed and asked Legolas, "Have you see Aragorn?"

            Legolas looked at her contemplatively, and I shot him a warning glance. "No, sorry milady. I have not."

            He smiled and offered me his arm. I looked at him, confused. He lowered his arm. "Alright, no escort."

            I laughed. "I don't think that I need an escort in my own home."

            He grinned, then scooped me up, pulling my feet out from under me. "Now you do."

            "LEGOLAS!" I yelped. "Put me down! Put me down!"

            He grinned. "As you wish," and dropped me onto my bed. He then proceeded to flop down next to me. 

            "You know," I started, "at this rate we'll never get down there."

            He began to tickle me, "Who says we have to?"

            I glared at him. "What're you doing? I'm not really ticklish."

            He raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? I'm sure that I can remedy that…"

            Captain grinned. "You know what, I am going to go and tell everyone that you aren't spending time with us because you are hooking up with Legolas!" She ran out of my room, calling out the 'news' to everyone else. 

            Legolas turned to me and grinned. "What would be so terrible if we were to really give them something to talk about?"

            I looked at him. "WHAT???"

            He shrugged. "Just an idea."

            I smiled. "It's not so bad, but…" Before I could continue, he had cut me off with a gentle kiss. 

            "But what? Let go for a little while. When whatever it is that has them occupied ends, we can figure out what to do, but not now," he reasoned, pulling a cute, boyish look. 

            I raised an eyebrow. "Like they're going to stay by the TV when Captain is probably calling them all up here now." 

            He shrugged. "So? What're you so afraid of? Besides," he pulled me close and I leaned into him, "if Aragorn goes to get them, he'll have to face Captain." He smiled and kissed the top of my head. "So, shall we give them something to talk about?"

            "I…"

            He took advantage of my silence to whisper, "Maris, you are, without a doubt, the most indecisive person that I have ever met. And, sometimes, it's not such a bad thing." He placed a line of feather-light kisses down the side of my neck, causing me to shiver. 

            "Have you decided?"

            "I thought you already did."

            He laughed softly. "Well, in that case…" He moved to face me, "Let's get back to practice."


	9. Aragorn's Allergy

(a/n) Thanks again to Jen for all of her help and lending me her plot bunnies, as well as teaching my bunnies to conjure up mushyness. THANK YOU! Azn-kirby and Dreamality- this chapter is for you guys! Thanks for being great reviewers!

**_Cliché ch. 9-Aragorn's Allergies_**

            "Hey guys? Is anyone out there? Is it safe?" Aragorn's voice cut into my, until now blank, thoughts.

            _Why does he have to interrupt now? Can't he wait just a little longer? PLEASE? Wow, Fritz is going to kill me. So is Rosie, oh no…what am I gonna do? They'll be up here in a minute…WAAAAAAAAA! Oh joy, just when things are looking up, I have to come back to reality. It's just not fair!_

"Guys?"

            I broke away to respond. "It's safe. You're safe now, at least for a little while. I don't know if you were paying any attention but they should all be up here in a couple seconds. So enjoy the quiet while you can. It's not going to last."

            "Hey, why don't the two of you go hide in the closet and I'll say that I have no clue where **you** are." Aragorn suggested.

            Legolas unwound himself and nodded. "Good idea Estel. But what will happen when no one is there to save you from Captain?"

            Estel shrugged, "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

            Legolas smiled as he pulled me off the bed and towards the closet, "Thanks, I owe you one."

            We curled up in the closet, and, closing the door, struggled to find a comfortable spot on my floor. Legolas groaned, pulling a large, misshapen object out from beneath him. "What is this?"

            I laughed, recognizing it as my cousin's bra.*  "Oops. That's my cousin's. I guess she left her bra here the last time she visited." 

            Legolas jumped slightly and dropped it immediately, gasping, "You mean someone is actually 'gifted' enough to fit that???"

            I laughed some more. "Yup. That's her." I reached over and put it up on a shelf. "I'll have to remember to give it back to her next time I see her."

            Legolas laughed. "If your cousin looks like you, and is as gifted as it appears, she must be gorgeous."

            I blushed again. "You know, if you don't stop with the compliments soon, we'll be able to cook dinner on my face."

            He smiled, and kissed me, "What's for dinner?"

            I laughed and swatted at him. "Gee, thanks. You're so kind." I laughed and leaned against him.

            Suddenly a mass of foot-steps told us that the crowd was returning. I heard Fritz and Rosie screaming my name, and Arwen and Azia were trying to stop them from screaming death threats at the same time. Captain was comforting a sick Aragorn, who was sneezing constantly. 

            A quiet 'meow' and a paw appeared by the closet door. My cat Flute pawed at the closet door, purring and scratching, trying to get in.

            "Hey Aragorn?" Captain asked. "Have you seen Maris and Legolas any time recently?" 

            Aragorn looked up from a sneeze. "Atchoo! Nope. Atchoo!" He moaned miserably, "I can't believe I'm getting sick!"

            Azia looked up, "Hey Estel, are you allergic to anything?"

            "Allergic? You mean that I get sick from them?"

            She nodded. "You know, like pollen, ragweed, animals, dust, you know."

            He nodded slowly, "Cats."

            She and the rest of the group turned and stared at him. Captain sighed and reached over, grabbing Flute and holding him up for Aragorn to see. "Might he be the problem?"

            Aragorn shuddered, backing away. "Since when has there been a cat here?"

            Fritz laughed, "Since Maris has been here, of course."

            Aragorn moaned again. "Can't we put it somewhere it won't make me sick, like the closet?"

            Azia rolled her eyes. "No, we can't. He doesn't like it in there, besides, it's not nice to lock him up in his own house."

            Aragorn slapped his forehead. "Well, it's either him or me, as I can't be near him. So one of us will have to leave the room."

            Captain gasped. "NO! We can put him in the closet for a little bit, I'm sure Maris won't mind all that much."

            Behind the door, I curled up into a corner, hoping that they wouldn't see me.

            Legolas looked at me, confused. "Why are you backing into the corner? Are you scared? Did I do something wrong?"

            I shook my head as Captain opened the door. "Hey guys! I found Legolas!" she called.

            Fritz and Rosie raced over to the closet, squealing happily, "Legolas!"

            Captain moved over to put Flute inside as they pulled Legolas out. She put Flute inside and shut the door. "Hey Legolas? Have you seen Maris?"

            I breathed a sigh of relief. _Yay! He won't tell, I hope…_

            He hesitated, before answering, "My apologies, my ladies. I have not seen her in quite some time."

            I heard him groan as Rosie and Fritz reattached themselves to him and began to drag him towards the door. 

            I heard him argue with them for a little while, before muttering in Sindarin, "_Wait here." _ 

            I had been teaching myself to speak the languages of the Elves, so I picked up Legolas' direction and grinned. _For a stupid Elf, he isn't all that bad._ I curled up in my corner and Flute settled down at my feet. I sighed, "This might take a while…"


	10. Pillow Fight!

(a/n)- I'm sorry this update took so long. I am working on a show this weekend and next so if the updates are a lil inconsistent, I apologize. Life is great! 4.0! Thanks to my reviewers! **Dreamality**-Don't worry. Do you really think that I want to stay in a closet for x amount of time….? Just kidding. Here is the next chappie for you…~Maris By the way, this chappie **WILL ROT ALL REMAINING TEETH! **Enjoy…

**_Cliché ch. 10 Pillow Fight!_**

            I fidgeted slightly and Flute meowed his annoyance. "Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. I'm no more amused or comfortable then you but, at the moment, neither of us have a choice."

            It had been about 15-20 minutes since the screaming group of my deranged friends had left the room. I stretched slightly and yawned, "Goodnight Flute." I settled in for what promised to be a very long, uneventful nap. 

            "Maris," a soft voice stirred me out of my dreams. "Maris." A gentle hand brushed my face, followed by an equally gentle kiss. 

            I moaned and opened my eyes. 

            Legolas smiled, "Well, I guess Sleeping Beauty really will wake up from a kiss."

            I stretched again and swatted at him. "So I see you've escaped. Good."

            He nodded vigorously. "The terrible two decided that it was just as much fun to watch and help Captain chase Aragorn, especially since Fritz learned that he is ticklish."

            I raised an eyebrow. "Really? I may just have to try that sometime…" I grinned and squirmed towards Legolas. "But the real question is, are you?"

            He looked slightly frightened. "Who wants to know? Besides, Elves are **not** ticklish!"

            I laughed and poked him. He squirmed, then moved slightly out of my reach. I stood up. "You know what? I guess all Elves must be really ticklish, especially if they say that they aren't. So I guess we'll just have to find out."

            Legolas got to his feet, opening the closet door as he did. "Why? Isn't there something more interesting and entertaining that we could be doing?"

            I grinned and shook my head. "Nope."

            He grumbled, moving out of my closet. "Why not? Isn't there a more rational way to test this?"

            I smiled. _He's so cute when he begs! Awwww! And the hott eyes! *Cat calls* _I stepped out of the closet, half closing the door so that Flute could get out. 

            Legolas laughed, grabbing my hands. "You can't tickle me if you don't have your hands."

            I yanked back, freeing one. I began to tickle him, watching him alternate between laughing and trying to get away from me. 

            He dropped to the floor, pulling my legs out from beneath me and catching me in his arms. "Give up?"

            I raised an eyebrow. "I have not yet begun to fight!" I squirmed, but he only tightened his grasp. _Dammit! Why does he have to be so strong? Grrr! Wait a second…Why do I want to change where I am now…? I'm happy! It's because I refuse to give up! And he's ticklish, that's a plus! And a guy, and long hair. This might mot be so bad after all…_

            We struggled for a little longer, until I freed one of my arms. I reached around and began to tickle again, until he loosened his grip enough that I could slip out. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. "Give up yet?" He asked.

            "You wish!" I grabbed the closest thing to me, a large green pillow. I began to batter him with it, "Pillow fight!"  
            He retaliated by grabbing my arms, trying to wrestle the pillow out of my grasp. _Dammit! Why does he have to be so strong! _I soon found myself pinned, my arms and legs held fast by my hott blond opponent. 

            "Give up yet?" he asked, his breathing light, close to my ear. 

            I bit back a sigh, grinned impishly, and threw myself against him, knowing him off balance. "No way!"

            We continued in this pattern for a while, until, once again, I found myself wrapped in his arms. I bit him gently, "Watch it," I warned, "I might have rabies."

            He simply raised an eyebrow. "Rabies? My dear Maris, Elves do not get sick, remember?" 

            _Grrrrrrrrr!_

            HE smiled and gently bit my cheek. "We might not get rabies, but that doesn't mean that we don't bite back." He continued his assault on my face, the soft bites turning into kisses that trailed down my neck, leaving me breathless. 

            "No fair! You cheated."

            He laughed. "On the contrary, it is** you** who forgot to set any rules for this little encounter."

            I squirmed slightly, "Rules? Ok, no cheating!"

            He sighed, "What am I going to do with you?" He asked, jokingly.

            I shrugged. "Dunno, maybe give up?"

            He laughed. "Nice try, but I think I like you where you are…"

            I sighed. "Fine. But don't get comfortable. I haven't surrendered yet!"

            Legolas laughed. "Would you if there was an incentive?"

            I tilted my head, curious. "What kind of incentive?"

            He grinned and shook his head, his long blond hair falling into his face. "Not until you surrender."

            I rolled my eyes, as I can be more stubborn than almost anyone, except maybe Fritz, _This could take a while._ I moved a little bit. "Hey Legolas? Could you just let me have my arms back? Pleeeeeeeeeeease?"

            He looked at me. "Why?"

            I sighed. "I promise that I won't tickle you, for now."

            He nodded. "Alright, I suppose that you can have your arms back. But can I have the rest of you?"

            I whacked him with my now free hands. "Now," I said, winding my arms around his neck and entwining my fingers in his hair, "What was that about an incentive to surrender?"

            He gave a small half-smile, "later," he whispered. 

            I barely had time to think before he had pressed his lips to mine. "Legolas…"

            He broke off just long enough to brush a hand across my face and whisper, "what do you say to putting the game on hold for a while?"

            I nodded and forgot entirely about everything else as I began to drown in his ever deepening kisses. 


	11. Tickles and Bathing Suits

(a/n) SORRY! [runs from angry mob with pitchforks] I'm SORRY! Don't kill me! I have been at an all time inspiration low and have taken **Dreamality**'s advice and not posted until I actually have something to post. So FINALLY….HERE it is…..Oh yeah….one more thing…as ff.net has decided to get rid of the lovely little asterisk things….I will be using these [] things! Kapishe? Kapishe!

**Legolas:** Aren't you forgetting something?

**Maris:** um….No.

**Legolas:** Like a disclaimer maybe?

**Maris:** Nope….never heard of it. And this is obviously AU and most likely OOC

**Legolas:** Say it…..

**Maris:** [sigh] Fine…fine…if you don't recognize it….it's mine! Anything else belongs to Tolkien….except for dear Leggy….He's mine.

**Legolas: **No…I am the property of…

**Maris:** Nope…mine. Good puppy. Ok peeps…here's your story and I get my Leggy! w00t! Ok…Here you go….

**_Cliché Ch. 11- Tickles and Bathing Suits_**

            We broke away and I curled against Legolas. Soon, pounding footsteps heralded the approach of my 5 crazed friends and Arago-back-to-your-own-world-so-that-my-friends-don't-rape-you.

            "Help!" Aragorn yelled, diving into my room and trying to hide himself beneath my desk.

            I laughed. "What'd 'ya do now?"

            He gulped. "F….Fr…Fritz! She knows my secret! And now Captain does too!"

            I got up and poked him in the ribs. He squealed and pulled back even farther, if possible, under my desk. "What secret? That you're ticklish? So are they!" I slapped my hand over my mouth, pretending that I had just squealed on them. "Nobody heard that…"

            Aragorn's face gained a calculating, insane look that reminded me of something out of a horror movie that involves a psychopathic killer. I shuddered and backed away. "What're you up to?"

            He grinned. "Just a little friendly payback." He crawled out from under my desk and headed towards the door.

            I raised an eyebrow and followed him. "Come on Legolas, this should be interesting."

            He gave a little moan and picked himself up off the floor. "But…there's something more entertaining to do here…"

            I rolled my eyes and swatted at him. "Down puppy. This is gonna be hilarious!"

            We walked to the door and watched as Aragorn poked his head out of the room.

            "ARAGORN!" Captain's screech caused me to grab my ears and crouch down to protect them. "There you are! We have been looking all over for you. And Maris, Lizzie called. Pool party at her house!"

            I stood up with all of the dignity I could muster under the circumstances. "You didn't…."

            Captain grinned maniacally and nodded. "She said to bring them."

I glared at her for a moment before moaning into my hands. "Of all dumb things to do…you had to do THAT!"

            She shrugged. "The hottest man EVER is here and you expect me to keep it a secret???"

            I took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, actually I did. But as you have already told her…I guess that we'll just have to go now won't we?"

            She grinned and screamed for everyone else. I rubbed at the corners of my eyes and headed back towards the phone. After briefly explaining the situation to the remaining four who found it extremely funny, I called my mom.

            "Hello?"

            "Hi mom."

            "Maris? I'm kind of busy at the moment, can I call you back?"

            "Um….actually, Lizzie wanted to know if all of us could come over for a pool party. Don't worry, nothing big. And Arwen is calling her mom to see if she can take us."

            "OK….just don't be out too late. And bring your phone."

            I gave a thumbs up sign to Captain and smiled. "Yes mom."

            Arwen smiled and took the phone. She then dialed and asked her mom if we could get a ride to Lizzie's. She told her mom that we would need to stop and get bathing suits for everyone but everything else was taken care of. I walked over to my bed and collapsed onto it, burying my head in a pillow. "Why? Oh yes…now we need swim suits for them too! Joy…."

            Captain smiled. "Not a problem Maris. I have an older brother, remember? So does Arwen. Between the two, I am sure that we can find clothes for them…and if we can't….I'm not complaining."

            Rosie and Azia laughed while Fritz nodded. "I don't have a problem with it."

            I groaned and bounced up, heading towards my closet. "Ok. So we have clothes for as long as they're here, Captain and Arwen can supply that. Food I have. Beds…." I stopped as I noticed everyone look at each other. I raised an eyebrow and massaged my temples. "Not even gonna go there. So what do you peoples need for the pool?"

            Rosie bounced up beside me and grinned. "Maris, **you** need a bathing suit." 

            I rolled my eyes and shuddered. "No…no…that's really quite alright. Actually, why don't you all teach the dynamic duo how to use sunblock?"

            I groaned and opened my closet to find my suit…a plain black one-piece. "Crap! Shit! Crap crap crap dammit shit crap!" I cursed under my breath.

            Legolas arched one of his perfect brows. "Are you alright Maris?"

            I raised my hands to my head once more. "Fine…just peachy."

            He didn't look convinced. "Maris…what's wrong?"

            _Damn him and his cute, caring look! ARGH! NOOOOOOO! Must not reveal weakness. Must not tell weakness…ARGH! DAMMIT! Stupid hott sexy and completely sweet elf with the lost look! MEH!_

            I sighed. "My good suit is in my mom's gym bag…not here. ARGH!"

            He cocked his head. "But surely you have more than one if this is something that you do often."

            "That's not the point. My good suit is in there."

            Rosie laughed and opened my drawer while explaining to Legolas. "What Maris means is that her plain, black, boring, one-piece is in her mom's gym bag."

I glared at her. "What's your point?"

She smiled and held up and old suit that I had forgotten about. "I think that you should wear this one."

I shook my head vigorously. "NO! Not happening! Nope. Nada. Niet. NON! NO!" I backed away from the blue tiger striped tankini that was being dangled in my face.

"But Maris…" Rosie laughed. "Don't you want to show off for Legolas?"

I pulled a face. "Not wearing that!"

"Come on Maris. You can't wear black forever."

"Watch me." I snapped. I _really_ don't like bathing suits.

I felt someone pick me up and sit me down on my bed. Legolas looked at me. "Maris…come on…besides…something is coming this way."

I sighed, grabbed the suit and a pair of khaki guy shorts from my closet, and headed into the bathroom to change. A little while later we were all piled in Arwen's mom's car on our way to a one-of-a-kind pool party.  


	12. Cell Phones and Pool Parties

(a/n) Hey everyone! Me again. I am trying to update as much as I can as I will not be able to for most of the summer. Here is Ch. 12….please read and review…let me know if this is any good and if I should keep it going or not….Kudos to Fritz and Captain for reviews…So here's chapter 12….

**Legolas: **Maris…

**Maris:** [sigh] Fine, fine…LOTR is STILL not mine…as if you couldn't already guess that….

**Legolas:** Good girl. [gives cookie]

**Maris:** YAY! COOKIE! [hugs] happyfulness! And on with the story…

**_Cliché Ch 12-Cell Phones and Pool Parties_**

            Arwen's mom, thankfully, is the type of person who will ask a few questions and, upon them not being answered, will **usually** not press the matter. The moment we entered the car, she asked, "Hi ladies. Who are the other two?"

            _Great…DOOMED! _"Um…actually they are friends of mine. They wanted to meet everyone and Lizzie said that they could come so they decided to hang out at my house first and then go to Lizzie's." I finished, lamely. _Please let her buy that load of crap that is only taken seriously in strange and clichéd fanfics…_

Arwen's mom nodded and actually BOUGHT THAT CRAP! COOL! So we stopped at Captain's house to get her bathing suit and some extra clothes for the two who were gazing out of the mini-van windows in shock.

            I poked Legolas. "Hello…Anybody there? Hello? Are you ok?"

            He arched an eyebrow and looked at me. "What do you mean? I am fine. I have just never seen anything like this before."

            I nodded. "Go figure."

            I pulled out my cell phone and, along with Rosie, began to download random ringtones while waiting for Captain.

            Aragorn eyed it suspiciously as it started to play "With You" by Jessica Simpson. "What is that?"

            I stopped humming. "'Member those communication things I showed you earlier?" He nodded and tried to look like he understood. "This is a smaller, portable one. Mmmkay?"

            Captain laughed as she got back into the car. "Really Maris…I couldn't find much in the way of clothing…it's probably still packed. I did find a little though. And put on Toxic…that should scare them sufficiently."

            I laughed. "No…I'll wait 'till we get to Lizzie's. She has two different versions of it. And we can dance to it. We have a better variety of guys than at the last party…"

            A large laugh filled the car. We finally reached Lizzie's.

            She bounced out of her door and raced to the car. "Where is he? Where is he? Where is Ara-?"

            I jumped out of the car and covered her mouth. "QUIET! Lizzie…it would probably be better if the whole world did NOT know that they were here!"

            She smiled. "Oh yeah. Oops. So come on in. POOL PARTY!" She smiled and pulled on the door, only to find that she couldn't open it. She tried again. Still didn't work. "Don't worry guys, this happens all the time. We'll just have to jump the fence."

            I rolled my eyes and muttered, "stupid blonde."

            We all moved over to the fence and Fritz tried to climb it. She slipped and fell over it. She got up and unlocked the fence.

            Lizzie, being the strange creature that she is, still climbed over the fence. Aragorn looked at her. "Are you alright milady?"

            She tripped over the fence and landed on him. "Yep. I'm fine." She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him.

            I laughed and called them over to the pool. "Lizzie! NO RAPE!"

            She pouted a little and nodded. "Fine…but if he can't get back to Arwen I get him!"

            I shuddered. "Don't worry. He WILL get back to Arwen. He'd better."

            The rest of the group was huddled around Legolas, who was seated in a beach chair and looking a little scared.

            I wandered over. "Hey guys? What's going on over here?"

            Fritz and Rosie laughed while Captain and Arwen sorted through a formidable stack of clothing. "We're finding bathing suits for hottie." Fritz giggled.

            I raised an eyebrow. "Hmm. _Sure_ you were. Whatever." I shrugged and turned back towards Lizzie, who was trying to pull poor Aragorn toward the pile of clothing. "Hey Lizzie, you don't mind if I don't wait for you guys to get in do you?"

            She shook her head. "Nope. Have fun."

            I nodded and walked over to a chair. I pulled off my black t-shirt with the words "I scare my own family" on it and slipped out of my extremely comfortable khaki cargo shorts. (AE guys shorts) The water looked _really_ inviting. I went up the diving board and noticed everyone watching me. "What?"

            Fritz called out, "Maris, you look **so **hot in that bathing suit."

            Azia made cat calls and I blushed. "Shut up, all of you." I pulled my goggles down and stepped off of the end of the board.  The water rushed up to meet me and I plunged in. When I came up again, I noticed that most of the fellowship was staring at me, again. "What?"

            Aragorn pointed at the diving board. "Is it typical for you to just step off of it like that? You could hurt yourself."

            I rolled my eyes and swam towards the shallow end. "Meh, it's fine." I noticed that he was wearing green swim trunks. "Nice suit."

            He looked confused. "Suit?"

            "Your swimsuit. It's nice. Thanks Arwen or Captain, whoever brought it. Where's Lego-my-eggo?

            A tall, pale figure in blue swim trunks blushed slightly, or was that a burn? I groaned. "Guys, you were supposed to show them how to use sunblock. Remember?"

            They nodded and Fritz laughed, "oh yeah, oops."

            I hauled myself out of the pool and grabbed my towel. "Fine." As I dried myself off, I swung my hip into Lizzie, who was standing right beside the pool. She fell in with a loud screech. "Oww." I moaned. "That was loud!"

            "MARIS! This is all your fault!" She screamed.

            I nodded. "And your point is?"

            "Argh!"

            I laughed and reached over for the sunblock. I tossed it to Fritz. "As she is the resident 'sunblock queen' she's gonna teach you all how to use it."

            The pair looked at each other and Fritz laughed. "Riiiiiight. Ok then, this is sunblock. You pour it into your hand and rub it into your skin so you don't burn and get skin cancer, but I will anyways 'cuz I don't wear it…"

            I smacked her. "Bad Fritz. Anyways." I poured some out and began rubbing it into my shoulders. "Nasty, stupid stuff. Yuck." I muttered.

            The two lost puppies looked at me. "But if it's nasty, why do we have to put it on?"

            I sighed and turned around. "Ya see the handprints on my back? Those are a burn. That's what happens when you don't use it. It hurts and peels and turns red and isn't all too pleasant. Kapische?"

            The pair nodded and both reached for the bottle. Legolas turned to me, "How do you get it on your back?"

            I laughed. "Like this." I turned to Rosie and smiled. "Would you like to do the honors?"

            She grinned impishly and spun Leggy around. She dumped a fair amount of cold sunblock onto his back, causing him to yelp and jump slightly. "That's cold!"

            "Pick up the phone bitch, pick up the phone." Rosie's cell phone went off, cutting off our laughter.

            I groaned and dove back into the pool. "Man, why does she have to call now???"

            Rosie shrugged and headed towards the swearing cell phone. "I guess she's bored."

            I returned the gesture and rolled my eyes. "So let her stay that way."

            I glanced over at Lizzie and Captain, who were helping Aragorn with his sunblock. _Yuck. _ Sighing, I reached towards Legolas while motioning to Azia with my eyes. "Hey Legolas? Can you come here?"

            He came over, an eyebrow raised in question. "Yes?"

            I reached up, "Give me your hand."

            He did and I pulled as Azia shoved. Legolas fell into the water with a splash. "What was that for?"

            I laughed and patted his head. "Why, to get you in the water of course."

            He laughed and began to tickle me. I sighed. "When will you ever learn? I am not all that ticklish."

            He smiled. "That doesn't stop me from trying."

            I sighed. Today just kept getting weirder and weirder.


End file.
